examples of faith and strength

This past week, three women have made an impact on my heart and have taught me some important lessons... and I want to make sure I have a record of it, so I'm including it in this blog.

Zoe made a friend at chemo our first week here in Utah - I'll call her Kaylee.  Kaylee is 11.  She had two brain tumors - one large, one smallish.  The large tumor was removed through surgery, but the small one couldn't be removed.  The chemo and radiation treatments caused the small tumor to split into about 20 smaller tumors.  Kaylee doesn't have much of a short term memory and she wasn't able to attend school much this past year because she was too sick.  She's very skinny and frail, but has the biggest smile, dazzling eyes, and a fabulous attitude.  She's darling... and she is always so happy to see Zoe.  Well, last week at chemo I talked with Kaylee's mom for a while.  Apparently Kaylee has started to have strokes - three in the past three weeks.  Her mom said that in the research she has done, once kids with this type of tumor start having this type of stroke, they die within three weeks.  Maybe Kaylee will prove to be different, but  I don't understand how a mother can know and accept such an outcome...  That takes incredible faith.  I asked what Kaylee understood of her prognosis and she said that one morning Kaylee woke up and said, "It would be so much easier if I just went to bed and didn't wake up."  This isn't a little girl giving up - she's a fighter - it's just a little girl who understands what is happening...  Kaylee's mom told her if that was what she felt she needed to do, it would all be ok... I can't even type right now because I can't see the screen through my tears... it absolutely breaks my heart.

Yesterday, I met a woman (I'll call her Deb) and her three-year-old angel daughter at chemo.  The sweet little angel (I'll call her Brooke) has Down's Syndrome and leukemia.  When I initially saw them, the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Double Whammy..."  Actually, after talking with Deb more, I learned it was more like a quadruple whammy...  Brooke has an identical twin who has recently started showing all the same signs of leukemia.  Apparently the fact that she is an identical twin and has Down's Syndrome make her more susceptible to this type of leukemia anyway.  The parents feel strongly this is what is happening, but they are waiting to have her tested until after a family vacation this next week.  This family vacation is the last wish of Brooke's grandmother who is dying of cancer.  And there is more... Brooke is #5 of 7 children.  One of Brooke's siblings is on the Autism Spectrum.  I can't imagine the demands on Deb's time and her heart.  As I spoke with Deb, I was truly in awe...  Prior to Brooke and her twin being born, Deb and her husband had no idea the babies had Down's Syndrome.  It was quite a shock, but they are so grateful for their angel babies and would not change a thing.  When Brooke started to become sick, Deb took her to the pediatrician several times during a month.  The pediatrician kept dismissing her concerns, but things became progressively worse.  Eventually a blood test was performed at a different facility which confirmed that Brooke had leukemia.  By this point, Brooke was extremely sick and the doctors said she would have died within two weeks if this wouldn't have been caught when it was.  It would have been very easy for Deb and her husband to be angry with the pediatrician, but they aren't... they have forgiven him... They rely upon each other and they rely upon God and He blesses them with grace and strength... 

As Zoe and I were leaving the hospital yesterday, we were so blessed to run into some family friends whom we don't see very often.  ("Jen," two of her children, and Jen's mother)  This family is incredible and they had a great impact on Sean's life growing up, and more recently have influenced my life as well.  We love and appreciate their entire family for many reasons...  They were at the hospital yesterday for some appointments for Jen's son, who has various "disabilities" (I really don't like that word...).  As I saw Jen pushing her son's wheelchair, I immediately thought about what is required of her to care for her son's physical needs.  I had the privilege of working at a summer camp for children/young adults with disabilities - I'm grateful for what I learned through that experience, but it was so physically exhausting... and Jen does that daily... mom's don't have a break.  Then I thought about what it is like for Jen to be at the hospital... Jen's beautiful daughter died a few years ago from leukemia.  Jen has spent too much time in a hospital and I wondered if she felt haunted by difficult memories whenever she had to be there.  I know that God does not test us with more than what we are able to endure - Jen has endured more than most can imagine... clearly, she is a strong and choice woman. 

**I found a quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell about a month ago that has really stuck with me... "Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us."  To sanctify means to make holy and to purify... These three women, because of their personal strength and their faith in God, have become purified through their trials.  How grateful I am for their examples...